Two people wearing black suits hold hands at a funeral ceremony.

Planning your own funeral

These Are My Wishes aims to support individuals to start important discussions with loved ones and encourage more open conversations around death and our wishes after we die.

Our online form enables and encourages people at any stage of their life to record practical decisions about what they would like to happen after they die. It’s designed to help you make your wishes known, easing the burden on your loved ones, and ensuring that your life is celebrated in the way you want it to be.

These Are My Wishes

These Are My Wishes was developed by Alasdair Burns. He found himself planning the unexpected funeral of his brother-in-law without knowing what kind of service he would have wanted. So, Alasdair developed a tool to guide individuals through a series of decisions about what they would like to happen after their death. Alasdair has kindly granted Humanist Society Scotland permission to use and adapt this service.

Recording your wishes is one of the most thoughtful things you can do for your friends and family, giving them the freedom to celebrate your life instead of the stress and uncertainty of planning around your death without your input. Knowing that your funeral plans will be honoured when the time comes can also give peace of mind and be incredibly empowering.

Share your wishes and make a difference

These Are My Wishes is a free service. However, if you would like to support our charitable work you can do so by making a one off donation. All proceeds will go to our campaigning work. We campaign on issues such as assisted dying, reproductive rights, LGBT+ rights, and combatting religious privilege in education and government. With your help we can secure an ethical future for Scotland and the world. You can also help us make a difference by leaving a legacy for Humanist Society Scotland.

The generous legacy gifts we have received over the last five years has helped us to continue our campaigning work. With your support, we can do even more and help you achieve incredible things after you’re gone.

How does it work?

Our online form will guide you through some questions, allowing you to create a plan that makes your wishes clear. When you’ve finished completing the form, you can submit this and will be able to download a PDF copy of your answers. You can share them with the appropriate parties (e.g. your solicitor, your next of kin). Please note we do not share your form or answers with anyone. We will retain a temporary copy solely for the purpose of enabling you to return to complete your form at a later date.

We understand that you may not have thought about making decisions about this before. So, if you need more time to think about your answers, you can come back and make any changes to the form before submitting.

What information will I need to share?

For the These are My Wishes form you will be asked for information on:

your personal details (name, address and email address)
your chosen people (we recommend that you send a copy of your completed form to two people close to you, and to your lawyer or solicitor if you have one)
what type of ceremony you would like – i.e. funeral or memorial
your preferred funeral director (if you have one)
if you would like to be buried, cremated or something else. For example you may wish to have a green or woodland burial, or donate your body to medical science.
where you would like your funeral or memorial to take place

If you are at a stage in life where you would like to plan the content of your funeral or memorial ceremony in more detail we have also developed a separate, secondary form for those who are ready to start thinking about what they would like to include. Our This Is My Ceremony form supports you to start thinking about your ceremony. Here you can make a note of the type of content for your service. For example, who you would like to attend, any music or readings you’d like, flowers or colour theme etc.

What happens to my information?

Your information will remain private and will never be published or shared with anyone. We will temporarily store your answers so that you can use the ‘save and continue’ function of this form. We will automatically delete all entries after 30 days.