Real ceremony stories: Rosa and Rory’s naming ceremony
After having a humanist wedding, Lisa and Doug knew that the values of humanism resonated with them so when they became parents decided to mark this important milestone with a humanist naming ceremony. Their joint ceremony for son Rory and daughter Rosa was conducted by Humanist Society Scotland celebrant Jamie Innes. The joyful and personalised ceremony was made even more special with a live performance from Lisa’s singing group and an original lullaby dedicated to baby Rory!
Can you tell us a little about Rosa, Rory and your family
Rosa is four years old and is bright, independent, hilarious and confident. She has always been chatty and curious, and now she regularly stumps us with her questions about everything. Me [Lisa] and Doug relish the challenge of keeping up with her busy brain.
Rory is five months old. He balances out the energy in our house with a much more chilled out and calm vibe. He is a mummy’s boy so far, he loves snuggles, baths, massages and looking at trees.
We always wanted two children so we feel sure that our family is now complete, which was one motivation to have the naming ceremony. Like many people, the journey to create our family wasn’t always easy, so we’re especially grateful for the two incredible humans we get to raise and hang out with every day.
Why did you decide to have a humanist naming ceremony?
Rosa was born in July 2020, so although we’d hoped to have a naming ceremony, we couldn’t due to covid restrictions. We didn’t think about it for a long time, until I was pregnant with Rory.
Sadly Doug’s granny Betty passed away last year, and after attending her funeral we reflected on the importance of gatherings and marking milestone moments in life, both happy and sad. I was pregnant at the time and we decided we’d do a naming ceremony for the new baby when he arrived. When I looked into it on the Humanist Society Scotland website I realised we could do whatever we wanted for the ceremony, including having a joint ceremony for Rosa too since she never got hers in 2020.
We really appreciate the importance of gatherings, rituals, witnessing and ceremony, but we are atheists. We’re grateful that humanism provides a way to bring all these things into our life events. Making promises to our children felt powerful and important, just as our promises to each other were important on our wedding day.
We loved our humanist wedding and wanted to recreate that informal, personal and values-driven tone. As parents, and as people, we try to emphasize kindness and connectedness to other beings and the planet, so the humanist values really resonate with us.
How did you decide on Rosa and Rory’s names?
Rosa’s name came easily – she is named for Glen Rosa on Arran, our favourite place. It is nice that there are some important and inspirational Rosa’s in history too of course, namely Rosa Parks and Rosa Luxemburg. Her middle name Helen is for our dear family friend Helen McIntyre, who passed away the same day I found out I was pregnant with Rosa.
We struggled to choose a name for Rory (not least because we were sure we’d have another girl…) – ultimately, Rory was the only one we could agree on. It’s a strong Celtic name which means red king. It looks like he will be a redhead like his dad and sister! Rory’s middle name is Douglas after his dad, just as Doug’s middle name is Richard for his dad. We thought it would be nice to carry that on.
Which humanist celebrant did you choose for your ceremony and why?
We choose humanist celebrant Jamie Innes who was recommended to us by our wedding celebrant (another Humanist Society Scotland celebrant!). Jamie was local to us and he had such enthusiasm for our double naming ceremony. He made us feel at ease and we got on straight away.
Can you tell us a bit about your naming ceremony and how you personalised it?
Our mums both did a reading – my mum, Morna, read Jackie Kay’s Welcome wee one which comes in the baby boxes. We were so moved when we opened the baby box and saw that this lovely introduction to the Scots language, and to art, is included alongside essentials. It is framed in Rosa’s room.
Doug’s mum Mary read The child’s song by Spike Milligan, which she chose herself – a short and profound poem that we particularly love because we’re a musical family.
A really special part of our humanist naming ceremony was the singing, which I took part in. Our friend Cath Campbell commissioned a new lullaby for Rory as a gift to us, with input from lots of friends and family. Upstream – a gentle song for Rory was written by Penny Stone who is a brilliant songleader and activist in Edinburgh. A group of eight of us performed it on the day led by Cath.
We also sang Rosa’s lovely daughters, an empowering song about solidarity and women’s rights inspired by Rosa Luxemburg that I’ve been singing to Rosa since she was in my tummy.
Where did you hold the naming ceremony and why?
Our humanist naming ceremony was held at Jam Street School of Dance in Stewarton (where we live). Rosa dances there on Saturdays. I went into labour with Rory in the same room where we held the ceremony, at Rosa’s dancing awards ceremony. They were also able to offer both a bar and a soft play in the same room, so catering to everyone!
Jam Street was a brilliant venue. Having the soft play area with lots of toys was great because we had lots of small kids there. We had a buffet at the venue too which was provided by Cup and Saucer in Stewarton. It was fantastic. The rainbow balloon arch that we got from Just Bespoke & Events was also great and acted as a focal point for the ceremony.
Who did you choose as Rosa and Rory’s guideparents and why?
Rosa’s guideparents were Laura and Adam.
Laura has been one of my best friends for over a decade now. Our friendship has only been further strengthened by her family’s move to Stewarton! We will always be in one another’s lives, and we know that she will always be there for Rosa.
Adam is loyal, honest, and sincere. He’s the sort of person who would drop everything and come running for Rosa. He would do anything for her, just as he has for Doug as his closest friend and best man.
Rory’s guideparents were Laura and Greg.
Laura is my friend from university who now lives in New York, but despite the distance we’re as close as ever. She is out there working hard to change the world, we see her as an inspirational role model. We know that she is someone that Rory will look up to throughout his life.
Greg has what we would describe as ‘Big Dad energy!’ I’ve known him since high school, and he naturally looks after everyone. We’d trust him completely with Rory. He’s recently had a beautiful daughter, Caitlin, so our kids will grow up together.
What was your favourite part of the ceremony?
We loved seeing and hearing our dear friends promise to act as guideparents for Rosa and Rory. It was also lovely when we sang Rosa and Rory’s special songs with other friends after the ceremony.
Rosa loved playing at the soft play with her cousins and friends! She also loved the songs, which she unexpectedly joined in on. Rory was very chilled during the ceremony, but his favourite part was probably when we took his fancy outfit off and put him in something more comfy!
Do you have any advice for others who are thinking of having a humanist naming ceremony?
A couple of times in the planning I wondered if we really needed to do this – but I am so glad we did! Gathering so many people that we love together, to celebrate our amazing children, felt so special, and the whole day exceeded our expectations. Jamie helped make sure it had an informal and fun vibe, and everyone enjoyed themselves. We made memories we’ll always treasure, and it’s nice that Rosa might remember it too since she’s a bit older.
Naming Ceremonies
A naming ceremony is a popular way to mark a child’s arrival into your family, and a humanist ceremony lets you create a naming ceremony that is unique and personal.
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