Secure Your Date
Know your wedding date? Know you're covered
Planning a surprise wedding
If you’re looking to do things a little differently, a surprise wedding can be a unique way to get married. Imagine the look on your guests’ faces when they realise that they are about to watch you get married! A surprise wedding also offers a great happy medium between an elopement and a bigger, more conventional wedding. Sasha and Stephen had their own surprise wedding, a humanist ceremony conducted by celebrant Carol Knight. The wedding took place in their garden with guests thinking they were attending a leaving party for the couple (who would soon be relocating to Dubai). Here’s some top tips on planning your own secret wedding, with some inspiration and advice from Stephen and Sasha.
Decide if a surprise wedding is right for you
If you’re looking to have a more relaxed, intimate wedding over something bigger/ traditional which often comes with lots of pre-wedding events and pressures, or perhaps you have a smaller budget to work with, then a secret wedding might be the perfect option. Of course, this does mean you won’t have a hen/stag party or be able to including family and friends in the planning, wedding outfit shopping etc. However, if this isn’t a priority for you then read on and get planning! Stephen and Sasha certainly had no regrets. Stephen recalls, “We had such a fun time and the reactions were exactly what we hoped for! Obviously, we missed out on some things. We didn’t have hen/stag do’s, we didn’t get a traditional big day. But we got so many other things from it!”
Keep it a secret (ish)
The most important part of planning a surprise wedding and pulling off the big reveal is of course keeping it a secret. Only tell those who absolutely need to know like your celebrant and any suppliers. Stephen said, “The biggest challenge was definitely keeping it all a secret…But it was great fun arranging everything knowing how surprised everyone would be. Only our florist and our celebrant Carol Knight knew, no one else! We always knew that we wanted a humanist celebrant since it’s more personal, about us as people and our relationship.”
Of course, when planning your own surprise wedding you might want to consider if there’s anyone you do feel you need to tell. Enlisting a few trusted confidants can be very useful so you have some people to help with the planning. You may also wish to tell a few key family members such as your parents if you feel it’s important that they find out before other guests or there’s anyone who would need to know for personal or logistics reasons.
Your humanist celebrant will be one of the “inner circle” who knows what you’re planning and will have plenty of ideas to help craft your ceremony and incorporate the big reveal.
Decide on your cover story
One of the first decisions to make when planning a surprise wedding is deciding on what type of event you want to disguise your wedding as. Common choices include engagement parties, birthdays, or anniversaries. Choose an event that makes sense for your guest list and that won’t arouse suspicion. Make sure to let guests know of any important details – e.g. if there’s a formal dress code etc. Sasha and Stephen used their leaving party as their cover story.
Choose your witnesses
For many couples, deciding who will be their witnesses is an important decision. With a surprise wedding if you have two special people in mind you will of course need to make sure they will definitely be there! You’ll then have another lovely element of surprise when your witnesses find out that, not only are you getting married but they have been chosen for this special role on the day. Stephen and Sasha chose their best friends to be their witnesses, a nice full circle moment since they had previously been witnesses for them at their wedding. Stephen recalls, “We had our best friends Robyn and Andy. We were their witnesses at their wedding so it was only right they done the same for us.”
Plan the reveal
Plan a creative way to announce the true nature of the event. You could both sneak off and return in your wedding outfits or have a change in music to something wedding themed. You might want to simply make an announcement yourselves. Or have your celebrant appear and reveal all to guests – great for dramatic effect! Stephen and Sasha had a lot of fun planning this element, “There was a ‘fake’ proposal, which they were all surprised at, then they thought that was it…till we dropped the next bombshell!” Stephen laughs.
However you plan to reveal the surprise, if you have a photographer, make sure they are primed beforehand. Give them the details on exactly how and when the reveal will happen. It’s also a good idea to let them know of any particular guest reactions you’re keen to have on camera. That way they will be ready to capture the moment and emotions!
Coordinate with your suppliers
As well as your photographer being in the know, make sure any other wedding suppliers have a timeline of how and when things will be revealed. Be sure to keep them up to date of any changes. This way, everyone is on the same page ensuring a smooth transition from party to wedding ceremony!
And finally, enjoy the moment!
As with any wedding, you will of course want things to go to plan. However, it’s also important to embrace the joy (and chaos!) of the moment. As Stephen said, “Our security camera filmed the whole thing and there’s screams, swearing, the lot! After the initial shock everyone agreed it was a very ‘us’ thing to do! It was great just having everyone there, all having fun. It was quite relaxed, which is exactly what we wanted. I think everyone had an amazing time…except our dog Bella who was in a huff since she wasn’t the centre of attention!”
Feeling inspired and ready to start planning your own surprise wedding? Browse our available celebrants to see who’s the right fit for you.
Find your celebrant!
Start looking for a celebrant to conduct your humanist ceremony in Scotland.
Latest Related Stories
