Kate Buchanan smiles at the camera in a rural landscape with sea in the background. She has short brown hair and wears a black shirt with chunky necklace.

Kate Buchanan (1964-2024): A Humanist Life

Penelope Hamilton

October 30, 2024

Following the sad death of humanist celebrant and campaigner Kate Buchanan (20 August 1964 – 19 October 2024), her friend and fellow humanist celebrant Penelope Hamilton pays tribute. With input from Lynsey Kidd, Mary Wallace, Caroline Pearson, Angus Mackay, Linda Smith, Lindsay Morrison, Fiona Scougall, and Angela Johnson.

Kate was imbued with humanism. Generous with her time and attention, she listened empathically and used her understanding, knowledge, and experience to assist others in whatever ways she could. Her deepest love was for her family, but she was also a wonderful friend and colleague. She advocated for people and causes she cared about with clarity and calm determination, always remembering the folk she met through her different roles within Humanist Society Scotland.

Kate smiles at the camera in front of the famous John O Groats road sign.

There had been only three Humanist Society Scotland celebrants covering the vast geographic area of the Highlands, Islands, and Moray before Kate.

Becoming a celebrant

In March 2009, Kate became a celebrant. Mary, from the Humanist Society Scotland training team, comments that if anyone could be described as a natural, it was Kate. “She had a clear commitment to humanist principles, and all the necessary interpersonal and communication skills….Her manner was easy and gentle, she had a quiet confidence, a natural warmth, and empathy in bucket-loads.”

There had been only three Humanist Society Scotland celebrants covering the vast geographic area of the Highlands, Islands, and Moray up to then. All three lived near Inverness. Kate was now part of a team of celebrants serving the whole area, and the first to be based in Caithness.

Within a decade, Kate and her ceremonies were well-known across the far north of Scotland. So, it seems incredible that in the first few years she often found herself explaining what humanism meant, and reassuring non-religious people that a humanist celebrant could provide meaningful, personal, non-religious ceremonies. She loved that someone asked Dunnetts Funeral Directors for “the humanister woman” to conduct a funeral. And this tribute rings true: “Kate will always be part of our family story, as I am sure she is for countless families in different ways.”

Kate (second to left) with fellow humanist celebrants and friends. — KaTE (SECOND TO LEFT) WITH FELLOW CELEBRANTS (L-R) Linda Smith, Penelope Hamilton, Elaine Smith, Wendy Armstrong, and Angus Mackay

If Kate hadn’t suggested I apply, I likely wouldn’t be a celebrant today … the empathy, understanding and kindness she showed me will stay with me forever.

A voice for the far north of Scotland

When Kate was Humanist Society Scotland’s Area Ceremonies Officer (ACO), she ensured the voice of the far north and its celebrants was heard. She also challenged the society’s Edinburgh-centric approach. Lynsey, Head of Ceremonies, and Stuart, Training Manager, ventured to Thurso for a meeting and admitted to being surprised at the distance. Their train journey had taken a full six hours.

Lynsey says Kate never saw new celebrants as competition, but welcomed them with a warmth and generosity that was truly special. She was delighted that humanism was becoming increasingly part of the fabric of the far north of Scotland, and that local communities would continue to be served by local celebrants.

To quote her far-north colleagues, Angus and Lindsay: “If Kate hadn’t suggested I apply, I likely wouldn’t be a celebrant today . . . the empathy, understanding and kindness she showed me will stay with me forever.” “Kate looked after me when I first started and I don’t think I’d have got through the training without her….If she gave advice, I knew it was right….As an assessor she was fair (and honest!) which are great qualities to have.”

Kate smiles at the camera in an outdoor or garden setting. She wears glasses and has short brown hair. She wears a black shirt.

To be a successful celebrant, you need the confidence to stand in front of people and hold their attention, but you must not be so full of yourself that you forget you are not the most important person present.

Nurturing other celebrants

Kate’s relationship with the far north remained strong. But with the family’s move to Stirlingshire, and the continued expansion of Humanist Society Scotland celebrant numbers, her role as reviewer/assessor became more important. Lynsey comments that Kate was “generous with her knowledge and experience”. In undertaking reviews she was “committed to ensuring it was a process that promoted high standards of practice, but that it was also supportive for celebrants.” Fiona, a fellow reviewer, appreciated Kate’s “ability to cut through the BS and get to the heart of whatever was being discussed with calm and reason.” She adds that Kate “met you where you were and held space for you, giving empathy and compassion.”

Everyone remembers her kindness, but also what good company Kate was! Lynsey says: “assessment days were one of my favourite tasks . . . they were usually very long, and Kate and I would rely heavily on humour and chocolate.”

To quote her colleague Angela, at committee meetings “Kate was never shy to say what she thought, never shy to add an expletive or two along the way – and if any of us wondered where the laughter was coming from – or its cause – we mainly just needed to look in Kate’s direction.” Kate also enjoyed a glass or two of wine, an amusing or self-deprecating story, and a joke at the expense of anyone self-centred, unkind, or determinedly ignorant.

Kate with her first prosthetics wig for cancer treatment. — Kate with her first prosthetics wig for cancer treatment

Kate supported the current and previous campaigns to legalise assisted dying, which became personal with her stage-four breast cancer diagnosis. It’s humbling to recall how movingly she spoke about this at Humanist Society Scotland’s fringe SNP conference event only seven weeks before her death.

Campaigning for humanist causes

To be a successful celebrant, you need the confidence to stand in front of people and hold their attention, but you must not be so full of yourself that you forget you are not the most important person present. The ceremony isn’t about you, it’s about the deceased, or the couple getting married, or the person being named. Your job is to speak and act on their behalf, and stay calm and focused.

As anyone who witnessed one of her ceremonies will attest, Kate never forgot these rules. And she wasn’t a fan of those who did. The mantra “this is not about me!” applied to every role she undertook for humanism and Humanist Society Scotland. These also included celebrant mentor, ACO, reviewer, assessor, and advocate for causes such as equality, justice, rights over your body, chaplaincy, and the end to religious privilege. She was fearless in speaking up for these causes.

Kate supported the current and previous campaigns to legalise assisted dying, which became personal with her stage-four breast cancer diagnosis. It’s humbling to recall how movingly she spoke about this at Humanist Society Scotland’s fringe SNP conference event only seven weeks before her death.

Kate’s legacy

I’m one of many who shared the joy and privilege of knowing Kate as a colleague and friend and who now grieve her death. In Lindsay’s words, “I’ve quite often said in ceremonies that a person ‘will have shaped your lives in ways both big and small’ and I now fully understand what that means.”

During her funerals, Kate often quoted these words by A.C. Grayling: “As long as we love each other . . . we can die without really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on – in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here. Death ends a life, not a relationship.”

We miss you, Kate, but in our memories and hearts you’ll definitely live on.

All pictures by Angus Mackay reproduced with acknowledgements and thanks.